I Hate My Job
We guardian angels hate our job.
I hate my job. I hate having to work under someone else's command. God just orders us around to act as babysitters for all his spoiled brats. Take that two-faced, foul-mouthed, snotty girl who's always on her cell phone with her boyfriend. I know she can't live without him. She's obsessively attached to him. She can't stand a minute away from him and she's on the phone every 5 minutes, checking up on him. If he left her, she'd kill herself. I know what she's thinking.
You think I like watching over people like her? These spoiled bitches? It's a damn shitty job. She has so much bad attitude, I'd love to just cut her open right then and there to shut that flapping mouth of hers. She'll talk anywhere on that cell phone--her car, movie theater---anywhere. I'm surprised that loser boyfriend hasn't gone and killed himself just to get away from her.
But that's another story. For now, she's my focus.
I could get her to kill herself in less than a minute, but I like to torture her by putting paranoid thoughts in her head. Mainly, big-time insecurities and suspicions that her boyfriend's cheating on her. I know it drives her empty mind crazy. And when she's freaking out and in a panic, I wait until she breaks down and calls out for help---through her prayers of desperation.
Then I would come to her and whisper in her ear at her lowest point--the best time for mind control, of course. I would say to her, "Why the fuck are you such a stuck-up, sorry excuse for a human? That's why he's cheating on you. You think you're better than anyone else, but you're not.
People hate you. You don't deserve to live. You think people are beneath you. But it's really you who is the loser in life. That's why he's leaving you. You're not worth it." I'd play with her mind. I'd tell her how horrible she is. I'd tell her that her loser lover is leaving her for someone with a much better attitude. People like her are really insecure about themselves. I'd play on what she fears the most. No amount of attitude can save her from slicing her own throat.
Oh, I'm not being self-righteous or arrogant. I do think I am better than humans since, after all, I am immortal, supernatural. I'm simply targeting those of you who are sorry excuses for human beings, just so I can get all of you out of MY life. Have you listened to yourselves? Every damn day and night, it's gimme this, gimme that, what you want, who you want, why you want it or you'll so gonna die, why you're so miserable unless your life is the way you want it, or please-make-my- boyfriend-girlfriend-lover-spouse- dog-come back to me, now.
Why do you think we're so tired of you whining to us? We guardian angels have feelings too! We can feel anger and frustration. We can hate our jobs just like you complaining humans do. But here's the thing--I think our bigger purpose is not to save you, but to weed out all you whiners, complainers, despairing, depressed, hopeless people, those of you who are so weak and have given up, and sending you all to your gory deaths.
Honestly? it's the most satisfying feeling. It's like walking away from a job that you, well, hate.
I hate my job. I hate having to work under someone else's command. God just orders us around to act as babysitters for all his spoiled brats. Take that two-faced, foul-mouthed, snotty girl who's always on her cell phone with her boyfriend. I know she can't live without him. She's obsessively attached to him. She can't stand a minute away from him and she's on the phone every 5 minutes, checking up on him. If he left her, she'd kill herself. I know what she's thinking.
You think I like watching over people like her? These spoiled bitches? It's a damn shitty job. She has so much bad attitude, I'd love to just cut her open right then and there to shut that flapping mouth of hers. She'll talk anywhere on that cell phone--her car, movie theater---anywhere. I'm surprised that loser boyfriend hasn't gone and killed himself just to get away from her.
But that's another story. For now, she's my focus.
I could get her to kill herself in less than a minute, but I like to torture her by putting paranoid thoughts in her head. Mainly, big-time insecurities and suspicions that her boyfriend's cheating on her. I know it drives her empty mind crazy. And when she's freaking out and in a panic, I wait until she breaks down and calls out for help---through her prayers of desperation.
Then I would come to her and whisper in her ear at her lowest point--the best time for mind control, of course. I would say to her, "Why the fuck are you such a stuck-up, sorry excuse for a human? That's why he's cheating on you. You think you're better than anyone else, but you're not.
People hate you. You don't deserve to live. You think people are beneath you. But it's really you who is the loser in life. That's why he's leaving you. You're not worth it." I'd play with her mind. I'd tell her how horrible she is. I'd tell her that her loser lover is leaving her for someone with a much better attitude. People like her are really insecure about themselves. I'd play on what she fears the most. No amount of attitude can save her from slicing her own throat.
Oh, I'm not being self-righteous or arrogant. I do think I am better than humans since, after all, I am immortal, supernatural. I'm simply targeting those of you who are sorry excuses for human beings, just so I can get all of you out of MY life. Have you listened to yourselves? Every damn day and night, it's gimme this, gimme that, what you want, who you want, why you want it or you'll so gonna die, why you're so miserable unless your life is the way you want it, or please-make-my- boyfriend-girlfriend-lover-spouse- dog-come back to me, now.
Why do you think we're so tired of you whining to us? We guardian angels have feelings too! We can feel anger and frustration. We can hate our jobs just like you complaining humans do. But here's the thing--I think our bigger purpose is not to save you, but to weed out all you whiners, complainers, despairing, depressed, hopeless people, those of you who are so weak and have given up, and sending you all to your gory deaths.
Honestly? it's the most satisfying feeling. It's like walking away from a job that you, well, hate.
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